How the fuck are you supposed to get along with cats? Sincere question? I want to make an effort to be friendlier to them, but when the large majority in Wardle piss my dog off and then shit on the lawn when she's inside and can't chase them, it's difficult. I don't want to hate them any longer, because I have a sneaking suspicion that someday I will have to co-habit with one of the ungrateful creatures. They bite or scratch me when I think I'm being nice and stroking them correctly (mfw there's no 'correct' way to stroke a fucking dog apart from don't stroke its eyes, and even then most don't mind) they jump up when I'm trying to eat or use the computer, when a dog would ask and be told to fuck off, they ignore any orders not to do certain things (knock stuff off high places, claw furniture) and they don't guard/work in any way. Oh, apart from occasionally attacking rodents/pests, which they don't actually eat like a dog, they leave on the fancy silk rug. But I don't want to hate them any more. we need to get along.
FELINES. THE TIME HAS COME TO CALL A TRUCE. STOP BEING ARSEHOLES.
We both like sardines, can we not bond over that?