To whom it may concern,
I regret to inform you that I am at no fault for the unreceived logbook associated with the BMW 5 Series (Registration KL53 FWX), as it was lost in transition upon its despatch in the post. The logbook was marked clearly with the required address, and was stamped both properly and appropriately. I should also state that I have no intention whatsoever of paying you the sum which you have demanded of me, as it is obscene, unnecessary and bordering on offensive. I clearly have zero accountability in this matter, as I had not deemed it pertinent to acquire proof-of-postage; thinking that perhaps the envelope would arrive, and not accounting for Royal Mail's botched and disturbingly disorganised attempt at a delivery. I am sorry if this news troubles you at the DVLA, but again, I would like to highlight my complete unwillingness to pay for a smear on the British-Postal-System's otherwise wonderful record, and will be firmly and totally rejecting your request for financial reimbursement on grounds that I have demonstrated no culpability in the slightest.
Good day to you sir,
Llewelyn John Rhys Davies-Kenny