Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Hello. Again.

It's that time of year again people! The time of year when I pretend that I'm going to actually write things on my blog, and actually do effort and whatnot. I shall probably have forgotten in two or three hours that this is what I was supposed to do today.

But, alas, I jest. I have actually got nothing better to do whilst at home. I have no job, no money, and a number of videogames that I should be playing, but a computer with an exploded motherboard. Where then does the desperate nerd turn in an effort to relieve day-to-day boredom? The internet, of course. I intend to actually put things up here now; I've finished university, with a good grade I might add, and I have got TONS of crap that I can just put on the internet to gauge whether people will be inclined to read it. (On second thoughts, 'crap' might not be the right word... Erm... Let's try 'genius, hand-crafted wonder-literature'. Yeah, that cuts the mustard. Like a fucking chainsaw.)

So, stick about. Read something. If you like it, let me know. If not, shove your comments up your arse and fuck off back to Reddit or whatever.

Can't we all just get along...? No I will not use a fucking litter tray as well.

How the fuck are you supposed to get along with cats? Sincere question? I want to make an effort to be friendlier to them, but when the large majority in Wardle piss my dog off and then shit on the lawn when she's inside and can't chase them, it's difficult. I don't want to hate them any longer, because I have a sneaking suspicion that someday I will have to co-habit with one of the ungrateful creatures. They bite or scratch me when I think I'm being nice and stroking them correctly (mfw there's no 'correct' way to stroke a fucking dog apart from don't stroke its eyes, and even then most don't mind) they jump up when I'm trying to eat or use the computer, when a dog would ask and be told to fuck off, they ignore any orders not to do certain things (knock stuff off high places, claw furniture) and they don't guard/work in any way. Oh, apart from occasionally attacking rodents/pests, which they don't actually eat like a dog, they leave on the fancy silk rug. But I don't want to hate them any more. we need to get along.


We both like sardines, can we not bond over that?